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#16 Greenleaf

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Skriven 10 mars 2003 - 15:12

Ett till Finlandsskämt som jag hittade på en sida.

Förlåt jag kunde inte låta bli!! :D

You know you have been in Finland too long when...

1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.


2. As you walk past the Parliament Building in Helsinki, and see the statues is titled "Svinhufvud" you no longer read it as "Swinehead" ... instead you think "What a good Swedish name!"


3. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:
a. you assume he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he's a Dutch


4. You don't think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.


5. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer "Oh, I'm going to Europe!" meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.


6. You no longer scrunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.


7. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder "Who does he think he is!!??"


8. Silence is fun.


9. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm is:
a. duty free voldka
b. duty free beer
c. to party heartily...no need to get off the boat in Stockholm,just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland.


10. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.


11. You pass a grocery store and think "Wow,it is open, I had better go in an buy something!"


12. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the television", "close the lights off", stay "by" somebody and tell someone "you needen't to!" Expressions like "Don't panic"creep into your everyday language.


13. You associate pea soup with Thursday.


14. Your idea of unforgivable behavior now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.


15. Your notion of street life is reduced tothe few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights


16. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.

17. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, so you begin to feel restful instead.


18. "No comment" becomes a conversation strategy.


19. You finally stop asking your class "Are there any questions?"


20. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory seems right.


21. Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.


22. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.


23. You begin to understand Jussi Jyylanpaarvi's broadcast of the hockey game.


24. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30C degree weather.


25. When you hear loud-talking passengers on the train, you immediately assume: they are drunk, they are Swedish-speaking, or they are Americans.


26. You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.


27. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.


28. You eat herring in 105 ways.


29. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognise it as semi-formal wear.


30. You can now reconstruct the missing letters on a building. For example, MERI.........LITTO OY.


31. You have undergone a transformation so: mustamakkara (black-blood sausage) is food you accept as food as is alcohol.


32. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.

#17 tokig flicka

tokig flicka

    Too mutch beer for this lady!

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Skriven 10 mars 2003 - 23:35

Okej detta är inget skämt, men fy fan vad jag skrattade när jag hörde det...

Ett citat från "Mitt stora feta grekiska bröllop"

- Ian is a vegitarian, he dosent eat meat.
- He eats no meat??
- No he does not eat meat..
- What do you mean he eats no meat? (lite mer aggresivt)

Allt stannar upp....

- Åhh thats OK, thats OK, I make lam....



hohojaja.. detta gillar jag

#18 Greenleaf

Greenleaf

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Skriven 10 mars 2003 - 23:47

Okej detta är inget skämt, men fy fan vad jag skrattade när jag hörde det...

Ett citat från "Mitt stora feta grekiska bröllop"

- Ian is a vegitarian, he  dosent eat meat.
- He eats no meat??
- No he does not eat meat..
- What do you mean he eats no meat? (lite mer aggresivt)

Allt stannar upp....

- Åhh thats OK, thats OK, I make lam....



hohojaja.. detta gillar jag

Jo, den filmen är underbar. Älskar verkligen alla skämt i den, och jag som trodde att jag skulle hata den av någon skum anledning?

Särskilt kul när pappan Gus presenterar hela släkten:

This is Anita, Nicki and Nick.
And this is Nicki, Nick and Anita
And these are Nick, Anita and Nicki.
And then we hav me, Gus


Nej. Klockrena skämt i den filmen.

#19 Achtung

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Skriven 11 mars 2003 - 00:26

A physics professor's teaching an introductory course, and going over
kinectics in mind-numbing detail, when a pre-med student yells in
exasperation, "How is this shit useful?" The professor, without turning around, responds "It saves lives."

The lecture continues for a couple of minutes, until the same pre-med
student asks "How does this help save lives?" The professor, again
without turning around, replies "It keeps ignoramuses like you out of
med school."

Detta inlägg har ändrats av Achtung: 11 mars 2003 - 15:03


#20 horizonflower

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Skriven 11 mars 2003 - 15:00

Du Greenleaf tycker tydligen att det är väldigt roligt att driva med mitt hemland :D

#21 Greenleaf

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Skriven 11 mars 2003 - 15:29

Du Greenleaf tycker tydligen att det är väldigt roligt att driva med mitt hemland  :D

Jo, det kanske stämmer :)
Så länge du inte tar åt dig så är det ok, men säg till om det skullle bli för jobbigt bara. Det vill vi inte att det ska bli.

Jo förresten så har jag ett skämt på lager om Finland. Hehe, ne bara skojar ;)

/
Yxi, kaxi, Greenleaf

#22 Manetheren

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Skriven 12 mars 2003 - 15:24

Tänkvärda ord:

Idag lägger man mer pengar på bröstoperationer och Viagra än man lägger på forskning om Alzheimers sjukdom. Det innebär att det år 2030 kommer finnas många pensionärer med stora bröst och kraftig erektion men ingen kommer att komma ihåg vad man ska ha det till.


Det är inte meningen att sänka nivån på skämten här, hoppas ingen tar illa vid sig över att skämtet var lite under bältet.

*Bugar sig och lämnar scenen åt vänster*

Detta inlägg har ändrats av Manetheren: 12 mars 2003 - 15:24


#23 horizonflower

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Skriven 14 mars 2003 - 14:10

haha...här hitta jag något åt dig Greenleaf :D

You know you have been in Sweden too long when...

1. It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.

2. You think Leif "Loket" Olsson is entertaining.

3. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see
which ones you
should keep to take to the store and which ones can be
sacrificed to garbage.

4. You associate peasoup with Thursday.

5. The first thing you do on entering a
bank/postoffice/pharmacy etc. is to
look for the queue number machine.

6. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

7. A sharp intake of breath has become a part of your
vocabulary, as the
sound of 'ahh'.

8. You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to 'Systembolaget'.

9. You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of "cheap" spirits at
'Systembolaget'.

10. Silence is fun.

11. Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you
begin to "eat
medicine" and "hire videos".

12. Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.

13. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk,
b. he is insane,
c. he is American,
d. he is all of the above

14. You stay home on Saturday night to watch 'Bingolotto'.

15. It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night
clubs is 23 or 25.

16. The reason you take the ferry to Finland:
a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party

17. The only reason for getting off the boat in Helsinki is
to eat pizza.

18. It no longer seems excessive to spend $200 on alcohol in
a single night.

19. The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together
in the phone
directory seems right.

20. You care who wins "Expedition Robinson".

21. Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer
acceptable. You
are ALWAYS on time.

22. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.

23. You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed!"

24. You are no longer scared of Volvos and Volvo drivers.

25. You have your own innebandy club.

26. You enjoy the taste of 'Surströmming'.

27. You find yourself debating the politics of Carl Bildt.

28. You see 'mmm' as conversation filler.

29. An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is warm.

30. When someone asks for "three cheers", you say: "hoorah,
hoorah, hoorah,
hoorah".

31. You wear sandals with socks.

32. You eat jam with savoury dishes.

33. You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.

34. You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly
sensible
thing to do.

35. You think it's more fun to stay at home and drink than to go out.

36. You wear warm clothing when it's 25 degrees plus in April
- because
it's April.

37. You wear shorts and T-shirt when it's barely 10 degrees in July-
because it's July.

#24 tokig flicka

tokig flicka

    Too mutch beer for this lady!

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Skriven 14 mars 2003 - 15:57

Är det dåliga skämt ni vill ha så är det dåliga skämt ni skall få...

Jag kör ett exempel....

Du väntar på buss nr 12 och så kommer buss nr 17 istället.
Då säger du

17 också!

****************

Din kompis säger till dig:
- Vi drar och pallar äpplen
Då säger du

Äh, Jag pallar inte!

****


Helt värdelösa....

sidan är...........




Världens dåligaste skämt

#25 Batuss

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Skriven 14 mars 2003 - 16:08

ett annat lite småtaskigt skämt!

Vet du vad en människas med dålig kondition värsta mardröm är?
- Nej
" Att se bussen bakfrån"


Dålig men det roligaste man hört när man är lite halvt som halvt!!

Detta inlägg har ändrats av filmlover_424: 14 mars 2003 - 16:08


#26 Achtung

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Skriven 25 mars 2003 - 15:15

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy, The Swiss hold the America's Cup,
France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war!

#27 tokig flicka

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Skriven 25 mars 2003 - 15:33

Ja vad kan man säga Achtung... Där slog du huvudet på spiken... Helt j*drans klockrent....

Även min utomordentligt torre bror drog på smilet lite.... :up:

#28 Achtung

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Skriven 25 mars 2003 - 15:34

Det är inte jag som hittat på det skämtet bara så ni vet :D

#29 tokig flicka

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Skriven 25 mars 2003 - 15:39

VAAAAA??? det trodde jag... :P

nej då, men du lade ju in den här så du får bli författaren på bio.nu.... :D

#30 Knuckles

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Skriven 27 mars 2003 - 08:52

Ett otroligt kasst skämt som jag hörde en dag.

Två älgar var ute och gick i skogen. Så blev den ena älgen skjuten så sa den andre:
Det gör inget för min pappa jobbar på konsum.
så värdelöst. :cool2:




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